Monday, February 16, 2009

Dear stupid diary

Dear diary,

Today I ate a fish.

I went down to the creek where the fish live and I watched patiently until I saw the tastiest looking fish. When the fish was right where I wanted him I jumped into the water and made a grab for it. I missed on the first try and the fish swam away as quickly as its little fish flippers would take it. Not to be left hungry and wet I gave chase.

As I splashed up the creek after mister tasty fish I lost one of my pink flip flops, I went back later to get it but it did slow me down a lot because I sort of had to hop, leap and jump after the fish now.

I passed two men who were fishing on the bank and they cheered for me saying 'don't you let that fish get away, it looks like a tasty one!' Laughing I yelled back 'yes sir it was the tastiest one I saw' I hop, jumped, and flailed my way past them trying to keep up with my fish.

Breathing heavy and feeling oh so soddenly moist I hoped mister fish was getting as tired as I was, I didnt know how much longer I could keep up the pace. Eventually I had to stop and take a break, boy I was tired.

I could see up ahead that mister tasty fish had also stopped for a little breather too. He looked back at me as I stood there panting and said 'cant you just leave me alone and eat a squirrel instead?' I thought about it, I have eaten fuzzy little acorn hoarding squirrels before but darn it they were hard to catch and they can scratch too. And squirrels are fast at climbing trees, its hard to climb trees in pink flip-flops, my blue ones are better but I didnt have them with me.

'I dont want to eat a squirrel mister tasty fish, I want to eat you, please can you just slow down some so I can catch you? I am awfully tired.' I got excited because I could see the fish was considering what I had said.

'Let me get this straight, you want me to slow down my frantic fleeing from you so that you can catch me and eat me?' Had the fish had hips and hands then his hands would have been on his hips and with a neck he could have cocked it at me. I dont know what sarcasm is but if I did then it probably felt a lot like this.

'Yes!' I exclaimed. 'Thats it exactly, I just want to eat you real quick and then I can go back and get my flip flop'. I couldnt believe it was going to be this easy, not that it was super easy or anything because I had been chasing mister fish for what felt like seven years.

Wooo go me