from back when he was really new

Me Simon and Uncle Matt went out and ate at our favoritest Chinese restaurant today. My goodness was it an experience.

I wedged him and his car seat into the booth. Within five minutes of sitting down the first little old lady showed up. She went a little bonkers and crazy and just could not stop repeating how beautiful he was. She stayed for a few minutes before going back to her own table. In the background we kept hearing someone speak with one of the robot voice box things, it was weird.

A few minutes later the next little old lady came by. This lady was awesome, she told us all about what it was like having twins way back in the 50's and how its so different to be a woman and a woman with kids these days. And she told stories about her paternal twins and her daughter that she had later. The whole time shes talking ive got Danger Boy on my lap drinking and burping. She was 72 I think, she stayed and talked to us for a good 20 minutes or so, while her husband was in the lobby reading a magazine.

As we were walking out this little woman in her forties who couldn't have been more than 4 feet tall ran up to us and begged us to show Simon to her mother. I said sure why the heck not. We go over to the table and it turns out that her mom is the one who is using the robot voice box thing. I had never before actually been spoken to by someone with a robot voice box thing. Oh my god it was fucking insane. She was so excited about seeing Simon that she was talking really fast and hearing the weird robot voice box saying “oh my god hes the most perfect baby in the whole world” really really fast in its weird robot voice was fucking wild. And then she was doing the normal “whos a good boy”, “your so beautiful”, “I bet your so proud” thing and the whole time its in this weird ass robot voice, it was definitely one of the stranger and cooler things that ive seen.

F punctuation

a little birdie made me do it

So today the danger bean and I went to the fabulously horrible never to be eaten again in this lifetime chinese buffet that is a mere 5 minute walk from our house. As I was pushing his stroller through the restaurant to escape the disaster that had been lunch this little Indian woman reaches out to the stroller as we near her table. I dutifully pull the stroller over because I am all about making peoples lives a little bit brighter by letting them ogle the bean. She reaches out and I am all like woah shes actually going to touch him, do I stop her, should I smack her hand and then run leaving her to cry over her soggy rice noodles? Turns out she is only covering his pretty pink little feet that are peeking out from under his blankie. She then says (looking at him) and I quote "he is so pretty, he is so pretty, I love you, he is my friend" I felt like I should probably give her a hug or something but I settled for patting her on the shoulder and telling her to have a wonderful day. Needless to say this made the whole dreadful bit of dank sewage that was our lunch totally worth it and I smiled the whole way home.